monster haven 06.5 - transmonstrified by naquin r l

Author:naquin, r l [naquin, r l]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Bottle Cap Publishing
Published: 2015-01-24T23:00:00+00:00

“Escalating Heaven”

Another flash fiction piece for the Confabulator Cafe, this one had a challenge attached. I had to use “I think I got everyone” as the first line and “This is better than anything” as the last. Everything in between is mine.

“I think I got everyone, George. Shut her down.”

“Got it, Frank.”

Edna held her breath and clutched her newly issued, regulation white robe, halo, and harp. The flimsy fabric of the robe crinkled under her grip. She pressed herself against the marble pillar and listened to Heaven’s escalator rumble to a halt. The footsteps of the two men receded, and the lights dimmed.

She let out a lungful of air and peered around the column. Empty. Edna dumped her uniform on the floor and stepped on it for good measure.

“Eighty three years,” she said, poking the bent halo with her toe. “Eighty three years of hymns, prayer, good deeds, and faithful service to the church.”

She ran her hands over her flat belly and smooth hips, reveling in her young body. She’d forgotten what it was like not to wince in pain with each step. She grinned and tapped her strong teeth with a finger of her now age-spotless hand. All there. Just like the good old days.

Edna stepped out into the atrium and adjusted her hospital gown. It didn’t fit well. It had been put on her when she was alive, as a frail, bony old woman with sagging breasts. Now it was tight across her perky bosom and full hips. She had a vague memory of what it was like to have a young, healthy body. She hadn’t paid much attention to it at the time, nor had she done much with it, except plant flowers outside the church or make cupcakes for the church bake sale. She’d never dated or married. There was too much work to be done. Too many poor to help.

Before her, a pair of silent escalators stretched into the distance. Waist-high gates of gold and pearl blocked off the unmoving steps up. Near the top, golden light broke through fluffy clouds. Edna heard the faint notes of harp music, and she made a face.

The down escalator was blocked by soot-covered gates carved with screaming faces and monstrous creatures. Even several feet from the entrance she felt waves of heat and heard distant screams. Edna backed away.

These were her choices? Fire and torture or an eternity as dull and endless as the life she’d already endured?

When Edna had crossed over, she’d been relieved to throw off the mortal coil and take her eternal reward. She’d worked hard for it. The Judgment Hall was filled with milling, confused people, but Edna had been ready. Her whole life had been devoted to this moment. In fact, her good works and dedication to God had earned her a Judgment Fast Pass, sending her to the front of the long line. St. Peter smiled and welcomed her, stamped her paperwork with a big smiley face, and sent her off to wardrobe and orientation.

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